


She Stumbles With Beauty

by ezekiels



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-25
Updated: 2013-02-25
Packaged: 2017-12-03 13:30:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/698793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ezekiels/pseuds/ezekiels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morgana visits Gorlois’s grave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Stumbles With Beauty

“My lady, do you wish to rest?” Gwen asked, helping Morgana across a small stream to reach the foot of the hill.

“I’m fine,” Morgana said. She forced her eyes wide open to avoid falling. With Gwen anchoring her, there was nothing to fear however. Her maidservant would never let any harm come to her.

“Are you having nightmares?” Gwen asked.

Morgana nodded. She had always had nightmares but she remembered them being more bearable when she had still lived with Gorlois, her father. He'd had a woman tend to her –a beautiful woman with deep blue eyes.

Morgana stumbled slightly on a particularly slippery rock and she grabbed tightly onto Gwen to stop herself from plunging into the muddy stream. Gwen let out a cry, half alarm and half laughter, as she fell backwards and landed on the bank of the stream with Morgana in her arms. Morgana laughed with her –it was always so easy to laugh with Gwen. It didn't seem forced like it sometimes did with Arthur and Uther. With Gwen, Morgana could be herself. They were friends or, at least, she hoped they were.

Morgana pulled herself from Gwen, standing. She held a hand out to Gwen and helped her to her feet.

Gwen looked Morgana up and down, checking to see if there was any damage. Besides the rim of mud at the bottom of both her cloak and dress, she was fine. Gwen’s dress had not fared so well.

“Gwen, your dress,” Morgana said, pointing at the back of her dress.

Gwen pulled at her dress so she could see and laughed when she saw that the back of her dress was completely covered in mud. “Well, that’s the end of this dress,” she said.

Morgana untied her cloak and lifted it from her shoulders. She held it out to Gwen.

Gwen’s eyes widened. “I couldn't possibly, my lady.”

“Yes, you can,” Morgana said, wrapping the cloak around Gwen’s shoulders. “The last time I looked for a maidservant, it took me two years to find one. I’m not going to go through that because of a little cold.”

Gwen pulled the cloak oddly around her. “Thank you, my lady.”

“Call me Morgana, Gwen,” Morgana said with a smile.

Gwen bit her lip and, after a moment, said, “Thank you, Morgana.”

The two of them turned to head up the hill. Gwen grabbed Morgana by the arm, stopping her from climbing. It took Morgana a moment to understand why.

Through the mist that had settled around her father’s grave, Morgana could see two figures. At first, she thought they were knights. The mist cleared enough to reveal they were two women, one dark haired and one blonde. Their backs were to Morgana and Gwen, pale blue cloaks around their shoulders.

“We should go get the guards,” Gwen said, pulling Morgana back to the stream.

Morgana did not move. “It should be fine, Gwen. Gorlois was well loved. It is to be expected that other people would come to pay their respects.”

Gwen looked back toward where they had come and then to the two women. “Morgana, something doesn’t feel right.”

“We’ll be fine, Gwen,” Morgana said, smiling as she touched the dagger at her waist in order to draw Gwen’s eyes to it. “I’m perfectly capable of protecting the both of us.”

Gwen bit her lip nervously. “Are you certain, my lady?”

Morgana nodded. She had been well skilled in weaponry since she was a child. Gorlois had insisted she learn, always telling her that one day he wouldn’t be there to protect her and that she deserved to know how to protect herself.

“Okay,” Gwen said, grudgingly. “Let’s go.”

They climbed the hill toward the grave. It was barely a slant but Gwen held tightly onto Morgana’s wrist anyway. Morgana let her, knowing that Gwen would insist they turn back if she didn’t.

The two women glanced at them when Morgana and Gwen were less than a few feet behind them.

Morgana gasped when she saw the eyes of the dark haired one. They were the same blue of the woman who had tended to her nightmares as a child.

“Nimueh?” she asked, certain she had to be seeing things.

The woman smiled. “Hello, Morgana.”

Gwen tightened her hold on Morgana’s wrist.

“Gwen, it’s alright,” Morgana said, sensing Gwen’s worry and nervousness. “I know this woman. She took care of me as a child.”

Nimueh smiled at Gwen, taking a step forward to reach out her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Gwen,” she said.

Gwen reached her hand out toward Nimueh’s then hesitated, unsure. Nimueh waited –patient like she had always been to Morgana as a child. Finally, Gwen took Nimueh’s hand.

“I have heard much about you,” Nimueh said pleasantly.

Gwen pulled her hand from Nimueh’s, startled.

“Do not be afraid,” Nimueh said. “I have simply been keeping an eye on Morgana.”

Morgana stared at Nimueh. “You really were keeping an eye on me?”

“I promised you I would, didn’t I?” Nimueh said, smiling.

Morgana remembered the night when Nimueh had promised her that. She had been so confused and so very tired. Nimueh had taken Morgana in her arms, saying, “I have to go away for a little while but I’ll always keep an eye on you. I promise.” She had felt so safe in Nimueh’s arms. She always had.

“What are you doing here?” Morgana asked.

“We’re paying our respects to your father,” Nimueh said. She placed a hand on the blonde’s shoulder. The woman, Morgana realised, was staring at her. “Wait for me by the horses,” Nimueh whispered to the woman.

The blonde woman turned away and walked past the grave, heading down the hill. Morgana could not help but watch her go. There was something about her –something mystic and powerful that Morgana couldn’t quite explain. Sensing Morgana’s eyes on her, the woman looked back and their eyes connected across the space between them. The woman looked so familiar, from her jaw line to the shape of her eyes. Although Morgana was certain she had never met the woman before, she could always have sworn she had.

“Go to the horses,” Nimueh growled.

The woman turned away, hurrying down the hill away from them.

“Who was she?” Gwen asked, looking between Morgana and the disappearing woman with a perplexed expression. Morgana couldn’t help but smile mischievously when she saw jealousy in Gwen’s dark eyes. Noticing the look, Gwen flushed. “I shall give you two a moment,” she said before scurrying off to the bare, dead tree at the very top of the hill.

Once Gwen was gone, Nimueh reached out and took Morgana’s hands. It was only then that she realised how well her childhood caretaker had fared. Nimueh’s hands were smooth and young –not the sort of hands Morgana would expect of a woman of Nimueh’s years.

“You’ve aged well,” Morgana said, looking at their clasped hands. She could hardly believe this was happening. For so many years, Morgana had imagined seeing Nimueh again. It didn’t seem quite real to be with her now.

A gentle gust blew up the hill, sounding like a whispered voice.

Morgana glanced up at Nimueh. She suddenly looked several years younger. It wasn’t much of a difference, not enough to spark anyone’s suspicion. Morgana was not just anybody. A shiver went up her spine at seeing the difference, knowing without a doubt that magic was responsible.

“Not as well as I’ve hoped,” Nimueh said with a smile. “But you, my dear, you have become a very beautiful woman.”

Even though fear was coursing through her veins, Morgana blushed at Nimueh’s comment. “You think so?”

“I know so,” Nimueh corrected.

There was a call from the hill down below. Morgana glanced down it to see two dark horses on either side of the blonde woman Morgana had seen earlier. The wind caught her words, hiding what she had said but their meaning was clear.

Nimueh pulled her hands from Morgana’s with a sigh. “I must go,” she said, turning around.

Morgana let out a terrified breath. She was shaking, ever so slightly. Knowing she was in the presence of a witch terrified her. It wasn’t that she thought they were evil like Uther did. It was simply that Uther’s words affected a person, whether they wanted to be affected by them or not.

Nimueh paused, glancing back. She reached out her hand and Morgana froze in fear. Nimueh’s hand gently touched Morgana’s check the way it had whenever Nimueh would put Morgana to bed.

“I wish you well, Morgana,” Nimueh said.

Without another word, she dropped her hand and descended the hill toward the horses and the woman. Morgana watched, heart pounding. She fisted her shaking hands and held her breath as the two women mounted their horses. It was only when the two women rode away that Morgana dared to let out another terrified breath.

“My lady, are you alright?”

Morgana spun around, half jumping out of her skin at the sound of Gwen’s voice. Morgana reached out and grabbed her arm to make sure she was really there.

Brow furrowed with concern, Gwen placed her hand over Morgana’s. “My lady, what’s wrong?”

“They were witches,” Morgana breathed. “We have to tell Uther.”

***

Uther did not let Morgana leave the castle for the next few months. When she was finally allowed to, she could not go anywhere without Gwen and a crowd of knights.

Arthur thought it was very funny.

“Have you ever talked to a witch?” Morgana demanded.

Arthur’s laughter cut off. “No,” he said. “But I’d imagine it’s very similar to talking with anyone else.”

Guilt flooded through Morgana, a guilt that had not left her since she had told Gwen that Nimueh was a witch. Morgana did not blame Gwen for this –although she had the feeling that Gwen blamed herself. Gwen was a kind girl who would not wish harm on anyone. She would have kept it secret but at the same moment Morgana had told her that Nimueh and the woman with her were witches, the knights had arrived, having come looking for Morgana when she had taken longer than usual.

Morgana turned to Uther who sat at the head of the table in deep conversation with two of his advisors. “Uther, may I be excused?” she asked.

“Yes, yes,” Uther said absently.

Before Uther realised what he had just consented to, Morgana stood and left the hall. She went directly to her room where she found that all the vases in her room were filled with flowers. They were sweet –white and purple– and Morgana had never seen so many of them in one place.

Morgana found the person responsible for all of the flowers behind her bed, bent over beside a bucket of soapy water.

“Gwen,” Morgana said with a smile, taking a seat on her bed next to where Gwen was scrubbing. She made sure to pull up her legs so as not to disturb Gwen’s task.

“My lady,” Gwen said breathless, her hair a mess about her face. “I’m sorry. I must be getting slow. This should have been done.”

“It’s alright, Gwen,” Morgana said. “I came back early from breakfast. Arthur wasn’t being particularly…favourable today.”

Gwen smiled, ducking her brush into the bucket. “Then again, was he ever favourable?”

Morgana smiled down at Gwen as she began to scrub the floor with the sort of vigour Morgana envied. Despite the effort, Gwen was barely breaking a sweat. The way Gwen worked always memorized Morgana. There was an effortlessness to it that she couldn’t help but admire.

Gwen paused in her task and took a deep breath. “I must speak with you, Morgana.”

“You can say anything to me, Gwen,” Morgana said, smiling.

Gwen hesitated a moment before saying, “I am so sorry, Morgana. Uther should have never found out about your friend.”

“It’s not your fault,” Morgana said.

“Yes, it is, my lady,” Gwen said, insistent, like she had been since the event. “I saw the knights coming. I should have realised you were about to say something that the knights were not privy to hear.”

Morgana leaned forward and touched Gwen’s shoulder. She gave it what she hoped was a reassuring squeeze. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Gwen,” she said. “I would have said it even if you had warned me. I was in shock. Realising Nimueh was a witch took me completely by surprise. Me not seeing what was right in front of my face: that was what got us in all of this trouble.”

Gwen looked up at her. “I still should have done something. I should have-”

Morgana leaned fully over and pressed her lips to Gwen’s. Her lips were soft, yielding to Morgana’s own. Gwen reached up with her soapy hands and cupped Morgana’s cheek.

Morgana was shocked.

She hadn’t expected Gwen to kiss her back.

Morgana leaned into the kiss –just a little too far. She slipped off the bed with a yelp and landed hard on top of Gwen. Gwen’s body collided with the bucket, knocking the soapy water across the floor.

Gwen started laughing.

“I’m so sorry,” Morgana said but she was laughing too hard for her words to be completely understood.

She was happy there, on the soapy, wet floor with Gwen. Lying there, everything seemed so clear to Morgana. She knew in that moment that Nimueh and her friend would never be caught by Uther’s men. She knew that Arthur wouldn’t always be so unfavourable. Most of all, she knew that Gwen would be by her side.

The only uncertainty Morgana had was if her future with Gwen would always be like this.


End file.
